The 12th of the month is when my brother died. The 12th of the month was when my phone rang at 7 am and immediately I knew something was wrong. It was my dad on the other end and it was bad.
That was in April and now it is almost September. It has been almost 5 months. What I want to do (because I don’t want this post to be about the details, sadness and feelings) is remember my brother Tony and challenge myself on or around the 12th of the month by running/walking 12 miles in memory of my brother or in symbolism-whatever you want to call that.
I feel like I will always feel this feeling on the 12th of every single month. I hope it fades and gets easier but for now I want to do this one thing that will push me and give me something to focus on that will make me stronger in mind, body and spirit.
I really appreciate my body and I want to do as much as I can to take care of it and all I really want for others is just that. I want people, my family, friends, strangers….to just take care of themselves and their bodies. To use their bodies for good so that their bodies can treat them good back.
This is my goal at least for the next 3 months on the 12th:
To honor and remember my brother by focusing on my body and pushing it further than usual. I will run/walk 12 miles on the 12th. There will be no medals and probably no one cheering me on but I will prevail mentally and prove to myself once again that I am strong.
I went for a run this morning-5 miles and have done a few 2 to 3 miles a couple of times a week for the past month. I feel confident that I can do it but it will be challenging.
Some of my thoughts while I ran today were:
We must honor our bodies
We must do the hard things
We must not waste the life we are given
We must tell our loved ones we love them and not judge them because before you know it they can be gone.
My younger brother Alex is dedicating all of his lifts to our brother and I am running on the 12th of the month for our brother. Neither of these things will bring him back but it will keep pushing us further individually mentally & physically.
I hope this inspires you to maybe honor and respect your bodies a little bit more, to push yourself a little bit more, to live a little bit more.