What I have always known about myself is that I love love! From when I was just a little girl I always sought out love. I wanted books about love and calendars, pens, notebooks…anything! I was never sure and still might not be about a lot of things but I am sure that I have always loved love.
As I grew up and went through school, started dating and eventually got married love was no longer in my view. I don’t know what happened but I got very lost and what I realize now is that I was not focused on love. This does not mean that I wasn’t loving or that I was a mean person it just means that I didn’t focus on it like I did then and like I do now. When I stopped focusing on Love I got lost in life. When I married a person who doesn’t believe in anything I got even more lost. I didn’t realize how important it was going to be to the rest of my life how important it was to believe in something. For my son’s sake I didn’t plan that one out very well. Of course clueless at the time and I am not blaming myself but I did somehow marry someone and have a child with someone who doesn’t believe in anything who eventually cheated on me and divorced me. Without belief in anything and without those values and morals how did I expect anything to last? I wasn’t awake then but I am awake now.
Love now is mostly what I think about. Loving things, books, ideas, sweating, learning, loving myself, loving my life and family, loving strangers, loving people’s differences. Just Love and Loving everything!
Love is what I pray to and for. Love is all that matters. When I put my thoughts out there I am not sure if they are going to the Universe or to God or to the moon, the stars….I don’t know but what I do know is that they are loving thoughts and I believe that Love will find a way and Love will guide me in the right direction.
When I was in my 20’s I wasn’t sure what or who I believed in. Was it God, was it nothing, was there nothing or no one to believe in? And then slowly and gradually I realized that it was Love that I believed in and always had. I had gotten away from it because I wasn’t surrounded by it and I stopped thinking about it. I still have some of those things I had from when I was younger. There is a reason I kept them because I must have always known that Love was what I was! Below is a book I have had since I was 12 years old…its filled with belief, love, hopes and dreams.